Yesterday a client emailed to tell me that in “trying so hard during our session she gave herself a headache”. This is what I answered, “I understand”. It sounds like you need to work on letting go (easier said than done). We typically hold on very tight when we feel the need to be perfect and in control. One way to start “letting go” is to become aware of when you are “trying so hard”—check in with your body and emotions, see where you are tense and what you are feeling. Then concentrate on each specific area while taking three deep breaths and then say to yourself, “I relax my… (all the areas of your body that feel tense). Do this for each area. During this process, become aware of your feelings and say to yourself, “I’m letting go of my anger or fear of not being perfect (whatever the feelings) and allowing myself to relax and be in balance”.
This snippet made feel for your client. Next time you visit with her, let her know improvement is hard work — an on-going. But, thankfully, not those headaches. Thanks for sharing your Pearls of Wisdom, Arlene.
Jackie,
Thanks for the sound suggestion. We’ve talked about it and she knows that change is difficult and requires tremendous effort. The “letting go” piece is hard and she’s practicing it.
Oh, yes. Letting go IS hard. I agree. It helps me to write the messages I need to be reminded most of on Post-it Notes. Your client might try the same. “Let it go” or “Letting go takes practice.” Whatever works. I’m working on this one right now: “All is well.” I’ve stuck that one on my refrigerator, my computer monitor, my bathroom mirror, wherever I spend a lot of time, and it’ll stay there until the message sinks in.