Pearl of Wisdom, Monday January 9, 2012

Arlene’s Executive Leadership Training Tips

Five Tips for Coping with an Angry Boss

I just left a meeting with an executive of a 6 million dollar company who is working for a “grouch”.  This boss is uncommunicative, spends company money without qualifying the need and “yells” when things don’t please him. Wow!  Talk about creating stress for his employees.  The sad thing is he has no idea about how much resentment and non-productivity he is causing.  Below are some tips I shared with my client

        1.        DETACH—Let’s define this word.  It means that you no longer take personally anything the “angry” person says or does. You are going to emotionally separate yourself from their inappropriate behavior.

        2.        STOP—No longer be the victim of an “angry” person. Silence any words of defense that come to your mind. Recognize that this is his problem and say, “I hear your anger” or “I see you are upset”.

        3.        ACKNOWLEDGEMENT—Many times, it’s okay to just nod in a way that shows you are listening.  Let them rant and rave if necessary (which some people do).  Verbally mirror back what you have heard. Groveling is demeaning to you and reflects a lack of self-respect. There isn’t a person I know who doesn’t need to be acknowledged, even if what they are saying is absurd. You do not have to agree at this point in the conversation.

        4.        PATIENCE—Wait until the individual has quieted down.  Decide in your mind the best time to discuss the situation. It might be best after you have acknowledged them to say, “let me think about all this” and wait a day to create solutions. 

        5.        CHANGE—your attitude. Stop “hating” the “angry” person or being indifferent to them and instead, realize their anger is their problem.  Being hateful, resentful, or indifferent is the easy way out and no one benefits.

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