THE FIVE STAGES OF ENDINGS IN OUR WORK AND PERSONAL LIVES

In last Monday’s Pearl I suggested that we leave legacies, large or small, every time there is an ending in our lives. What is the meaning of endings you might ask?  It means that something that existed in our life no longer exists and is causing us grief.  Some of the losses would include: a relationship, job, job transition, vacation, new home or location, effects of injury or illness. How deeply you feel your emotions is typically representative of the importance of the ending.  Please don’t underestimate this – every time there is an ending you will go through the stages of grief described below.

The characteristics of an ending and how they affect us:

1.     Typically most of us experience Kubler-Ross’ 5 stages of grief during an ending.

• Denial: You are in a state of shock, the world becomes meaningless.
• Anger: You might ask where God is in all this. As anger arises, be willing to feel it even though it may seem endless. Underneath your anger is great pain.
• Bargaining: You become lost in a maze of “What if’s”.  These statements reflect a need to blame ourselves and make promises that we will do something different to stop what has happened.
• Depression: This stage is where grief and sadness enter our lives at levels we may never have imagined.  Again, we must recognize that it is necessary to feel these emotions so we will move through them quicker.
• Acceptance: This stage is about accepting the reality that this loss has happened and things will never be the same again.  When you move through this phase you will find joy and happiness again.

2.  Expect your resistance, slipping back into the different stages during the process is common.  This never is a  linear experience during major endings.

3. An excellent way to cope with this process is to journal and familiarize yourself with the descriptions above.

Next week we will talk about personal strategies for an ending.

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