Arlene’s Executive Leadership Training Tip

3 TIPS FOR DEVELOPING POSITIVE SELF TALK:

This week as part of your executive leadership training we are looking at removing all self-talk that is sabotaging your efforts.  Three tips follow to help you make the change.

1)     Study the law of cause and effect.  This means read all you can on this law which is the same as The Law of Attraction.  Then read the information over and over or by CD’s.  Work on accepting the proven fact “that every result you have in your life is caused by your thinking and words” not others.  This means the blame game is over. 

2)    Become conscious of everything you are thinking and saying.  For one week just observe yourself and become aware of each time you look to blame someone else for an uncomfortable situation you experienced.  Ask yourself:
a)    What your reasons were for blaming others?
b)    What part did “negative” thinking vs. “positive” thinking play?
c)    How could I have created more positive thinking and created different results?

3)    Create an affirmation that will help you support you to create desirable outcomes?  For example, “I am creating the results I desire by consciously thinking positive thoughts in all situations.  Try saying this a minimum of 100 times a day.  Remember:  every thought that crosses your mind is responsible for what you do or do not have in your life.

Arlene Rosenberg, Executive Coach

This week your women’s leadership coaching  tip is to make delight one of your strongest purposes at work.  You might ask how is this going to help me.  My answer is that human brains have “mirror neurons—smile and the whole world smiles with you” (James Rouse).   When you are practicing creating and living meaningfully for an honorable purpose at work everyone will feel your intentions and want to follow your lead.   I have yet to see an executive who is a negative, naysayer as a creative, well liked person who has many followers.   Showing your contentment reflects a self-confidence and power that is very needed in today’s work environment for achievement and success.

For many, the work place is a scary world. These people live in fear that they will be laid off, lose salary increases, and/or be criticized for not “doing enough” as they do the job of three.   These issues are hardly motivating to an already discouraged workforce.  As executive women who want to become strong leaders, we must recognize that joy and happiness lie in our daily choices, thoughts and actions.  One of the greatest and kindest acts you can give your peers, employees and your company leaders is to “not just share your riches but to reveal to them their own.” Benjamin Disraeli

Arlene’s Executive Leadership Tip

This week is the last in the series on the ten aspects of positivity. Today we are going to talk about the tenth aspect love, as part of your executive leadership training tip.

Barbara Fredrickson author of the book, Positivity tells us that, “love is not a single kind of positivity.  It encompasses the other nine aspects; joy, gratitude, serenity, interest, hope, pride, amusement, inspiration, and awe.”  I’ve learned in working with my clients as a leadership development coach, that many women executives  who have trouble feeling, experiencing and sharing the other 9 aspects of positivity struggle with the experience of feeling loved and appreciated.  In addition they have a hard time expressing love and appreciation to others.  Many times they come across as aloof and cold even though that is not how they want to appear.   At the core of this issue is their struggle to create an intimate relationship with themselves and experience love of self based on what has happened to them in their past.  Without love of self they draw a great deal of negativity into their lives.  When women work with me on this they first have to be willing to look inside and face head on their inner feelings of loneliness and being unfulfilled.

Most people take very little time to be with themselves and work on this most special and divine relationship.  In fact, they will defend every reason for not taking as little as 15 to 30 minutes a day for quiet introspective moments.  What many women miss understanding is that this time of just “being” is the most significant thing they can do for success.

Arlene’s Executive Leadership Tip

This week I will be talking about the 9^th aspect, awe as one of the 10 aspects of positivity that I use in business coaching for women It is closely related to last week’s aspect, inspiration.  Barbara Fredrickson tells us, “awe transfixes us momentarily pushing us to feel something larger than ourselves”.   It might be looking at the powerful Atlantic Ocean, hearing Beethoven’s 5^th symphony played by the New York Philharmonic, or listening to a powerful leader.

Watching John F Kennedy on TV as a teenager, I felt awe when listening to and looking at this charismatic leader.  He represented someone I could look up to and emulate.  Kennedy not only made me feel good he drew me in and inspired me to be more than I was. 

 Are you the type of leader who draws people to you because they are inspired and uplifted when around you?  Are you the one they seek because you set good boundaries, show true interest in other people and in helping them see the possibilities in all situations?  Are you the leader who encourages others to do their best and reach for the stars?  If you were unable to answer yes to some of these questions, it means you have work to do.

To truly be an awesome leader it is imperative to work on the qualities mentioned above.  If you’re not willing to do self-exploration, being an awesome leader is out of the question.

Arlene’s Executive Leadership Training Tip

This week I will be talking about the state of inspiration as one of the 10 aspects of positivity that I use in business coaching for women. All great business leaders, musicians, artists and writers live at a high level of inspiration because they have become adept at using their creative imagination.  An executive leadership training tip follows. 

All individuals are inspired by outside stimuli and internal thoughts or ideas.  It’s easier to be inspired by a great play or story than by our original inner ideas or hunches. The answer lies in first recognizing and understanding that desires are the seeds of success.  The stronger emotions are over desires, the more our “higher self” gives us ideas to bring them to life.     

What gets in the way when most people inventory themselves is lack of self-confidence.  They start out believing they “cannot achieve” their desires.  Fortunately, this handicap can be turned around.  The effort needed to do this requires time and patience.  Most people do not want to put the time in that is needed for this type of change.  If it does happen it’s stimulated through bitter disappointment and lives filled with negativity and problems.   This is when they call a coach to help them “fix” things. So why not be a part of the group that does take the time to get clear on their desires and work on letting go of your fears.

Arlene’s Executive Leadership Tip

This week I will be talking about the feelings of amusement as one of the 10 aspects of positivity that I use in business coaching for women.  Having just spent the last month with my grandchildren ages 4.5 and almost 3, I can attest that there were many moments when their unexpected responses and word interpretations had me giggling.  They were so funny while being so serious. Then, they would start laughing (it’s catching) without really understanding what made me laugh in the first place.  It’s amazing how good and positive I felt after these occurrences. 

An executive leadership training tip follows.  As leaders we can develop the quality of amusement and the good positive feelings it brings about.  Getting your employees and peers to laugh more will help lighten serious situations. The result will be increased productive thinking and high quality solutions to problems and issues because people will feel relaxed and more positive.  Presently, there is so much fear in the workplace that micromanagement and manipulation have become the “rule of thumb” causing employees to become worried, overcautious, indecisive and indifferent.  It’s time to laugh more and allow our peers and employees the space to shine both at work and in their private lives.

Arlene’s Executive Leadership Training Tip

This week I will be talking about the feelings of pride as one of the 10 aspects of positivity that I use in business coaching for women. Since we are celebrating the ten year anniversary of 9/11, I’m going to talk about pride in a unique way today. Many of you know that I lived in NYC at that time and my move to Arizona was a direct result of the events that day.

An executive leadership training tip follows. If the firefighters of 9/11 taught us nothing else, they exemplified pride in their work, putting out fires and saving lives. Last week I talked about fear getting in our way. These men were fearless and showed nothing but courage. Watching their faces and hearing their stories while viewing the two hour documentary on 9/11, showed me the incredible frustration and yes, fear of not being able to do their job. These men overrode their fear and banded with each other as brothers to do whatever they could to save lives. In the end, it was their devotion to their work and each other that held them together. Executive leadership training must include work on developing and demanding individual self pride as well as pride and respect for their fellow workers and organizations.

This exemplifies what we need to do as Americans in our work, communities and the country to recapture the dreams of our founding fathers. We must reunite our country by letting go of our fears and working together for the benefit of all not just the individual.

Have a great week and Stand Strong.

Arlene’s Executive Leadership Tip

This week I will be talking about the feelings of hope as one of the 10 aspects of positivity that I use in business coaching for women.  I believe faith and hope are interchangeable.

An executive leadership training tip follows. We have a choice on how to use hope in our lives.  Hope allows us to feel we can achieve what we desire. It helps us move through our fears, indecision and doubt.

Unfortunately, many of us live and do our work in the “fantasy” of hope.  We never allow ourselves to create what we desire because our fears get in the way and block our hopes and dreams.  Women business owners and executives tend to give very little attention to eradicating their fears (a state of mind).  They prefer denial and resist recognizing that a lack of purpose, and the plans that come from knowing them, keeps them from financial, professional and personal success. 

An important way to face your fears Napoleon Hill tells us, is to “develop the habit of making prompt and firm DECISIONS. Once you develop a line of action (purpose and plans) we do not need to worry (fear) and can play out our hopes and dreams.

Arlene’s Executive Leadership Training Tip

I have been in New York City with my daughter and her family. What an exciting and busy time for all of us as we have a new granddaughter, experienced an earthquake and a hurricane.  This explains the absence of Arlene’s Pearls of Wisdom the last two weeks.

This week’s executive leadership training tip will concentrate on serenity as a state of being that creates positivity in our lives and businesses.

Ironically, I would say the last two and a half weeks would appear to have been anything but serene.  It reminded me that we really have no control over nature. You can predict when a baby will arrive but never know the exact date or time.  Scientists have wonderful instruments but cannot always alert us to when an earthquake will happen. Meteorologists are able to help us know when a very strong storm approaches. They cannot predict where it will land or whether it will decide to change direction or speed until the last minute. Mayor Bloomberg of New York City was very wise when he said, “plan for the worst and hope for the best”.  The lesson from all of this is we cannot take control of natural events in our lives but we can plan and control our attitudes and actions about how we respond to them.  When business owners and executives plan with this type of perspective, they can expect that the overall outcome will be positive because it comes from a calm response, not a chaotic reaction.

Arlene’s Executive Leadership Training Tip

This week’s executive leadership training tip will concentrate on interest as another important emotion that creates positivity in our lives. Have you ever been so immersed in an activity that time and space alluded you?  Most of us have, and had the wonderful experience of being drawn into something that makes you forget everything around you but what you are doing.  Barbara Fredrickson Ph. D., author of the book “Positivity”, describes interest as “although you’re feeling perfectly safe, something new and different draws your attention, filling you with a sense of possibility or mystery.”  When this happens you are in a very positive state.  This state will grow and influence our minds differently.

Many of us have lost the ability to feel interest in anything but TV and overeating because we are stressed out and exhausted by the schedules we follow. When I do employee training and development, I emphasize the importance to your whole being of having outside interests other than work.  Ask yourself, when was the last time you challenged yourself to learn or experience something new that helped you feel totally alert and alive?  If it’s been awhile, then you need to figure out the reason you are holding back and not living the life you were meant to live.