Arlene’s Executive Leadership Training Tip

This week’s executive leadership training  tip will concentrate on gratitude, another important emotion that creates positivity in our lives.  People who remain consistently successful live from a state of gratitude.  A study done by Emmons and McCullough (2003-2009), showed these results, “Over two months, those that kept gratitude journals exercised 33% more often, reported fewer physical symptoms, felt better about their lives and were more optimistic about the upcoming week. They were also more likely to have made progress toward important personal goals. 

The results of this study show us that we become empowered by being grateful. I agree with Marianne Williamson when she states, “that by accepting ourselves exactly where we are we have more energy to give to life”.  My personal experiences which include business coaching for women  have shown me that when we spend less time time berating ourselves or bemoaning our situations and live from acceptance, our new found energy pushes us away from these energy drains and pushes us into gratitude producing positivity and success in our lives. 

Have a wonderful week and start those gratitude journals!

Arlene’s Executive Leadership Training Tip

This week as part of your executive leadership training  I am going to talk about  joy,  the first of 10 aspects of positivity taken from the book “Positivity” by Barbara Fredrickson, Ph.D.  It is definitely on my list of women leadership books for women and I suggest it should be on yours.  

My experience in business coaching for women has shown me that executives and business owners take little time for joy in their lives.  Picture yourself at a table with good friends feeling warm, secure and content.  This is joy.  When you are in this state your whole life feels more alive, light and clear.  The world seems brighter, your relationships feel balanced and your dreams seem more real and attainable.  You can cultivate joy  by making a decision to create it in your life and view it as an important quality to stay balanced and positive.  Simply become aware of when and where you are experiencing feelings of joy and then make it a point to put the activities that trigger these feelings in your life on a consistent daily basis. 

Have a wonderful week and put joy in your life.

Arlene’s Executive Leadership Training Tip

What is Positivity?

I believe that a positive mindset is a key attribute for women leaders.  During the next several months, I am going to look at 10 aspects of positivity taken from the book, “Positivity” by Barbara Fredrickson, Ph.D.  These aspects include: joy, gratitude, serenity, interest, hope, pride, amusement, inspiration, awe and love.

During my business coaching for women sessions, I have found that the majority of executives and business owners that I work with do not have enough positivity in their daily lives.  This contributes to their careers and lives not thriving.  My goal over the next two months is to support you in discovering new meanings of positivity and in learning how to use it to your advantage personally and professionally .   I believe that those of you who work on creating positivity will become “more resilient, confident, fulfilled and happy”.  Stay tuned for my executive leadership training tips on positivity in the weeks ahead.

Arlene’s Executive Leadership Training Tip

“Be content with what you have, rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.”

                                                                                                          —Lao Tzu

Wow! Rejoice in the way things are.  This has always been hard for me.  It’s all about acceptance of where I’m “at” no matter what situation is happening.  When I push myself into an attitude of acceptance, it supports me in changing the negative emotions I’m feeling around people, places or events,  This helps me to calm down and stay in balance.  By taking this pause, I can become grateful for the lesson I’m learning from the experience and know I’m going to grow from it.  I can remember to become grateful for what I do have and assess whatever I may need to change about myself, or the way I’ve handled things.  In the field of women leadership development, this is one of the top tools I teach. This action helps people realize that we always have choice on how we respond.  We can learn and grow and MOVE into gratefulness for the experience and what we presently have, or spiral downward paralyzing ourselves from moving forward.

Arlene’s Executive Leadership Training Tip

I’ve been thinking about what meaning July 4^th really has for me and how I could express it to all those who do executive leadership training and women leadership development with me.  As I’ve grown older, it’s become more than franks on a bun with all the trimmings, firecrackers, a day off, and politicians on bandstands.  I now get that this holiday recognizes the freedoms I have that so many in the world do not.  It brings up gratefulness to all the men and women dating back to revolutionary times who sacrificed themselves to bring this about and those who are ensuring we stay free.

 July 4^th equals freedom of choice in so many areas of my life.  Today I am going to join in the celebration and allow myself the ability to receive all the love, fun and joy I can have because I’m FREE.  I ask you to reach out to someone today and spread these thoughts.

Arlene’s Executive Leadership Training Tip

“We change when the pain of remaining who we are is greater than the fear of changing.”

                                    Ronald Fox

As many of you know, I’ve been business coaching for women the past twenty years.  My work is all about helping women change their mindsets, to become empowered and confident, in maximizing their potential for greater personal and professional success.  Change is hard! Fox tells us it is important to understand that “when we change our beliefs, we are changing who we are, a fundamental identity”. 

Through coaching hundreds of women, I’ve partnered with them as they walk through the resistance, fear, pain and joy they experience during the process.  When my clients reach the point of truly understanding that all of us are on a journey of discovery and growth, they reach the other side of the process and begin to feel the reward of living freely in all they choose to do.  These women learn and experience the value of the ability to choose their thoughts and concentrate on what they wish to create. They understand that they set the course of their lives, no one else.  

Arlene’s Executive Leadership Training Tip 

“We seldom think of what we have, but always of what we lack”  Arthur Schopenhauer

I recently worked with a client, who shared a negative feeling about herself, that she couldn’t shake when interacting with others.   I asked her more than once, “what are you willing to do differently that can help you change this feeling?”  She resisted and stayed stuck for awhile, unable to see what she could do differently. 

The breakthrough came, when I suggested that she switch her thinking and start becoming grateful for having these people in her life and what she was receiving from them (even if it was negative).  When we go beyond ourselves in certain situations, we are able to identify the true value of an interaction.  Whether it is a colleague, subordinate, friend, or a superior, we can view these people as giving us their companionship, friendship, knowledge, and more.

This insight pushed my client to realize how her misguided feelings were preventing her from receiving what others had to offer her.  How many times do we enter into an interaction carrying pre-conceived negative thinking about how others may feel or react to us?  Try interfacing with others from a place of gratefulness and see what positive changes will appear in your life.

Executive Leadership Training

American spiritual philosopher, David Spangler, defines possibility thinking as, “not automatically saying no to something, avoiding the automatic response.”

When we engage in possibility thinking we remain open to changing situations in our life.  How, you may ask?  When we truly understand the Law of Attraction we “get” that most of the time we are so conditioned in our thinking and habits, that what we are putting out to the universe does not match our desires. 

Mahatma Gandhi said, “we must be the change we wish to see…” Most of us spend so much time thinking about what we don’t want that we are not allowing ourselves to manifest what we do want.  Once you truly understand that we get what we think about, whether we want it or not, then and only then, can you bring what you truly desire into your life.

Come back on Thursday for the rest of the story and tools to achieve what you desire.

Letting Go of What Doesn’t Work

“See that any time you feel pained or defeated, it is only because you insist on clinging to what doesn’t work. Dare to let go and you won’t lose a thing except for a punishing idea.”

Guy Finley
Author of The Secret of Letting Go

My virtual assistant sent me this quote the other day.  It really hit home with me as there is no one I know in business who hasn’t felt defeated at one time or another. Those who go on to succeed turn these episodes into motivators for moving forward. Remember : The harder you fall, the more likely you will “go inside” and let go of what happened.  This allows you to figure out your part in the defeat, and pushes you to move on to much bigger and better.

Memorial Day, May 30, 2011

The words Barack Obama spoke upon awarding Gerda Weissmann (Holocaust Survivor) the Presidential Medal of Freedom brought out an awareness in me that I’d like to share with you this week, “as an author, a historian and a crusader for tolerance, she has taught the world that it is often in our most hopeless moments that we discover the extent of our strength and the depth of our love.” 

What is it that enabled Gerda Weissmann to rise above all that she experienced and not become completely victimized by it? Although I’ve never met her, I suspect that it was her ability not to see herself as a victim of her experiences.  Instead she allowed them to help her discover her essence, the greater truth of her being.  In this way she was able to bring forth her love and intelligence and use it to carry out her “mission of tolerance”.  Recently, Weissmann said, “ I love this country with a love that only one who has been homeless and hungry for as long as I had been, can have.”

Reading about her life has made me more aware than ever, that my own hopeless moments have been gifts in disguise.  The fear and darkness I feel during these periods actually open me to the “light” of my being  not the labels I have chosen to accept from others or put upon myself.   Thank you, Gerda Weissmann.