April 25th, 2011
This past week I spent time with my two grandchildren in New York City. What a treat! When watching the 4 and 2.5 year old play, wearing my personal development coach hat, I observed how we build up our attitudes, habits and beliefs. These children not only mimicked everything we did (positive and negative) but repeated it over and over to their toys, used it in their play and sang it in stories. They believed without a doubt what they were saying and creating.
What makes this important for us to know as adults? It is a real live example of how we develop and learn affirmative and negative thinking. These observations once again reaffirmed for me, that our brains can be trained by using repetitive affirmations. The key is we need to believe our positive affirmations using the same type of innocence we used as children. This process of becoming more conscious of new thinking and letting go of previous beliefs is very difficult. However, the more you work on practice believing the more you will grow in consciousness.
Posted in Pearls of Wisdom | No Comments »
April 18th, 2011
There are periods when we feel very confused, for days and weeks, about the direction we are to take. Although it feels very uncomfortable, confusion is a good emotion. This is because you are growing and integrating new habits, attitudes and beliefs. When confused, we are letting go of the old thought systems, and opening the way to new attitudes and behaviors. Be patient, and you will be pleased with the results.
Posted in Pearls of Wisdom | No Comments »
April 11th, 2011
Deepak Chopra tells us, our level of primary success in every area of our lives has everything to do with the degree of how much we love and accept ourselves. After almost 20 years of business and executive coaching, I agree 100 percent.
People chase success, and they spend thousands of dollars on themselves to be successful, and yet it is right in front of them. When people love and accept themselves just as they are, and there is non-resistance to who they “be”, they can go forth and conquer the world.
Posted in Pearls of Wisdom | 1 Comment »
April 8th, 2011
Qualities of a Successful Leader
Successful leaders are powerful creative people who are visionaries and highly focused. Powerful people have the ability to be forward thinking. They ask the “what if” and “why not” questions in a positive way. Successful people are open to hearing and learning about new things—not closed minded. Their thought systems are based on possibility thinking in all situations. Spend some time cultivating successful people this week and you will see what I mean. Learn from them and develop the skills you need to succeed.
Posted in Pearls of Wisdom | No Comments »
March 31st, 2011
Recently I had a discussion with Margaret Spencer on how leaders need to dress. How we come across is crucial to our success. 90% of communication is through our non-verbal actions. Therefore paying attention to what Margaret has to say will be enlightening.
Q: How should a woman dress if she wants to advance in business?
A: Choosing the right clothing style and accessories is non-verbal communication. If were smart, we can use clothing to send the message we intend. An important aspect to remember is if your outfit is appropriate for the occasion. In business you want to fit in and look polished. What is your business outfit communicating?
Q: Are you overdressed in a suit?
A: Every woman who works as a professional should own at least one suit. In most work places it’s no longer necessary to wear a suit daily. It can be used in a less formal way by mixing and matching it with separates to give it a fresh yet professional look.
Q: In a leadership role, what types of wardrobe pieces are needed?
A: The best way to get the most out of your work wardrobe is to have it fit into a wardrobe capsule. A wardrobe capsule is when all of the pieces in the capsule work to gather so that you can mix and match to make several outfits. Every woman should have a two to three piece suit, a few skirts and slacks and several tops and blouses. Keeping your accessories current will help you to project an image as a leader.
Margaret Spencer is the founder of Holobi, and developer of the D.R.E.S. System. Holobi is a national network of Personal Stylists who help everyday women build a wardrobe that fit their body shape, lifestyle and budget. The DRES System — which stands for Diamond, Ruby, Emerald and Sapphire — uses the jewels to represent a woman’s figure and instill self-worth and body acceptance. We believe that every body is a precious gem no matter its shape, size or age. What’s your shape? Find out at www.holobi.com.
If you are interested in becoming a Personal Stylist or enhancing an existing business, you might want to attend their workshop. Learn the Art of Personal Styling, April 9-10 Anaheim, CA
Interviews are being scheduled now. Reply to ms@holobi.com
They are also looking for a Regional Director for the state of California. Please send inquiries to careers@holobi.com
Posted in Main Blog | No Comments »
March 28th, 2011
Last week I talked about EQ (Emotional Intelligence being critical to the role of a leader). One of the major qualities of EQ is “responding rather than reacting”. It pains me to hear how many times my clients refer to their “bosses” as screamers.
A screamer is a “reactor” and an individual who does not know how to step back and take a pause before responding. Most of the time screaming is an unrecognized fear that is coming out in anger. Leaders take the time to become self-aware by looking at their behaviors and feelings so they can stop blaming others. They take responsibility for their actions.
For more information on Leadership check out my Standing Strong Blog.
Posted in Pearls of Wisdom | No Comments »
March 24th, 2011
One of the reasons high achievers hire me as their coach is to help them reach the next level in their career or grow their company faster and more strategically. Often, they struggle with how to blend their role as manager or “doer” with a new role as leader and strategist.
A manager lacking the ability to think strategically, and use Emotional Intelligence (EQ) skills to motivate and inspire employees will have great difficulty assuming a role as a leader. It’s also important to note that a leader without good management skills is going to have difficulty making their visions and strategies operational.
Since 1990, Peter Salovey and John D. Mayer have been the leading researchers on Emotional Intelligence and define it in the book Emotional Intelligence, as “the subset of social intelligence that involves the ability to monitor one’s own and others’ feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them and to use this information to guide one’s thinking and actions” (1990). EQ requires that in addition to great social skills you exhibit self awareness, emotional control, and a respond vs. react mentality.
It is much easier to learn basic managerial skills — overseeing the activities of others, ensuring the work gets done and focusing on the day to day tasks. Learning to become self-aware, control your emotions, respond instead of react be inspirational and motivating is much more difficult. It is the reason why there are so many books and articles written on management and leadership. There are many managers in the world but very few who can exhibit the qualities of a solid leader.
When I work with my clients we start with self-awareness. I emphasize that without being aware of what your habits, attitudes, and behaviors are, you cannot develop the underlying confidence that is required in leadership. In future blogs, I will continue to talk about these aspects of ourselves and help you understand how to inventory yourself, integrate new thinking and implement the new skills and information you have learned.
Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments »
March 21st, 2011
Welcome to the Monday March 21, Pearl of Wisdom.
Whether you are an executive or entrepreneur, developing and honing your leadership skills is a requirement for getting to the “next level”. A manager without Emotional Intelligence (EQ) skills cannot re-invent themselves into a leader. EQ requires that in addition to great social skills you exhibit self awareness, control of your emotions and responding instead of reacting. This is why so many managers, executives and entrepreneurs are turning to leadership and executive coaches to help guide them on this journey.
Have a great week and remember to look for more detailed information on the subject of EQ in my weekly Thursday blog.
Posted in Pearls of Wisdom | No Comments »
March 17th, 2011
One of the things I am really good at is wasting time. My DISC styles analysis report rates me a high “I”. This means among other things, I’m highly creative, a great influencer and motivator, all good attributes for an executive coach. On the other side, these same talents keep me from being focused and detailed. So, how do I get things accomplished? One of the first things I did years ago was to hire a virtual assistant. Timothy Ferriss in his book, “The 4-Hour Workweek” gives great suggestions on how to get good support at low cost. At times my VA’s have made almost as much money as I have in a week. Never once, did I regret the decision.
Being an entrepreneur and building a business means I needed someone who would be able to help me with the details and give me more time to work on my business not in it. My VA, Lynn, now knows me inside and out and asks me the questions that get things done. This leaves me so much more time for the projects that I like and that are important to me like writing, coaching, and just plain old thinking time.
Most of us are so busy doing the tasks of our jobs, whether we are executives or entrepreneurs, we forget to just sit and think about what we are doing. The truth is managers are “doers”, and leaders are the “innovative, pioneer thinkers” who come up with great ideas and direct their businesses. They spend 80% of their time on what will bring them a profitable return. Do you spend more time managing or leading? After many years of coaching and being an entrepreneur, I’ve learned that time management and how I view myself are essential to my progress and success. What about you?
I cannot be all things to all people, but when I do what I do best, I succeed. Yes, there are many times when I must get the “job” done. This does require me to stay focused, task oriented, disciplined and accountable to myself and others. These are skills I have been able to learn and use when I become distracted. They need constant practice and discipline. Brian Tracy tells us, “you can only manage yourself”. This was a decision I made a long time ago when I became an entrepreneur. Are you worth making these changes?
Posted in Main Blog | No Comments »
March 14th, 2011
Are you a manager or leader?
Most of us are so busy doing the tasks of our jobs, whether we are executives or entrepreneurs, we forget to just sit and think about what we are doing. The truth is managers are “doers”, and leaders are the “innovative, pioneer thinkers”, who come up with great ideas direct their businesses. They spend 80% of their time on what will bring them a profitable return. Do you spend more time managing or leading? After many years of coaching and being an entrepreneur, I’ve learned that time management and how I view myself are essential to my progress and success. What about you?
Come back on Thursday for a more detailed look at this idea.
Posted in Pearls of Wisdom | No Comments »
