Author, Eric Butterworth tells us that “our well being is not tied to the economic fluctuations of the world”. This is one of the most important beliefs you can develop. When you begin to understand that the only thing that keeps you from living a life of happiness, prosperity, abundance, laughter and lots of love is yourself, not the outside world, you have started the path to freedom from the ego part of your mind.
Yesterday I heard thoughts from Dr. Michelle Medrano on the paradox of knowing and questioning. We all need knowledge to succeed. She said “we cannot say we know something until we have demonstrated it. Those of us who feel that we know it all and haven’t demonstrated it are actually shutting down. It keeps us from being teachable and listening.”
This really applies to the workplace. Sometimes as leaders we pretend to know it all. When we learn to question using what rather than why, we give up knowing it all and enjoy questioning. It allows the listener to not be defensive. This is a wonderful tool to use when supporting your staff and peers.
Email me or go to my blog and share your thoughts.
Today, I want to share something very special with you. My friend Joan passed this along and Marlene, also a special friend, posted the following in her blog. PLEASE TAKE THE TIME TO READ IT. I will be talking more about this in the future.
Share it with everyone in your circle and carry it in your heart. If we could each adopt the UBUNTU philosophy, practice it in our lives and be an example of it to others, we can create necessary transformation in the world. It begins with you and me, one person can make a difference. Let it begin with you simply by sharing this post today.
As Bill Clinton said we are 99.9 percent the same, yet most of us focus on the .1 percent that makes us feel different. We may have more money, better looks, live in a better place, but it is arrogance to think we are any better than any other human being on the planet. Read this and Watch this incredible video.
I think it will change your life for the better, I know it has changed mine.
UBUNTU
“An anthropologist studying the habits and customs of an African
tribe found himself surrounded by children most days. So he
decided to play a little game with them. He managed to get
candy from the nearest town and put it all in a decorated basket.
at the foot of a tree.
Then he called the children and suggested they play the game.
When the anthropologist said “now”, the children had to run to
the tree and the first one to get there could have all the candy to
him/herself.
So the children all lined up waiting for the signal. When the
anthropologist said “now”, all of the children took each other by
the hand ran together towards the tree. They all arrived at the
same time divided up the candy, sat down and began to happily
munch away.
The anthropologist went over to them and asked why they had
all run together when any one of them could have had the candy
all to themselves.
The children responded: “Ubuntu. How could any one of us be
happy if all the others were sad?”
Ubuntu is a philosophy of African tribes that can be summed up
as “I am what I am because of who we all are.”
Bishop Desmond Tutu gave this explanation in 2008 :
“One of the sayings in our country is Ubuntu – the essence of
being human. Ubuntu speaks particularly about the fact that
you can’t exist as a human being in isolation. It speaks about
our interconnectedness. You can’t be human all by yourself,
and when you have this quality – Ubuntu – you are known for
your generosity. We think of ourselves far too frequently as
just individuals, separated from one another, whereas you are
connected and what you do affects the whole World. When you
do well, it spreads out; it is for the whole of humanity.”
Some of you may have noticed that in the last two weeks there were no Monday morning Pearls in your Inbox. Life just became too hectic and something had to give. This time it was the “Pearls.” I’m happy to say that one of the reasons for the missing “Pearls” was I spent time in Louisville, Kentucky doing two workshops on Women Standing Strong and claiming their power. It was a delightful experience and very successful!
More and more I’m realizing that if we want our lives to be more peaceful and in balance, the foundation for Standing Strong, we must recognize that the change has to start with us. The two workshops once again made me aware that most executive working women, including myself, are into excessive “doing” and very little “being” with themselves. These workshops do just that—help push the attendees to “be” for the day by discovering their triggers and working on learning tools that will teach them to pay more attention to themselves. When we are lost in the “doing” we lose a sense of consciousness, which creates an inner sense of dis-ease. This may manifest in feelings of loneliness, anger, exhaustion and illness and become intensified when things are not going well. In the end it prevents us from being more productive and successful.
How do we stop the “merry go round” we all live on? Eckhart Tolle, one of the most respected spiritual leaders of the modern world, tells us “there are two dimensions to who we are. Beyond, the dimension of form—which is thinking, doing, sense perception and the physical body—there is a dimension that is totally missed…it is the dimension that can provide balance.” Tolle calls it “being.” It’s the time when you quiet your mind and live in the stillness.
I agree with Tolle that this time alone with ourselves can bring about the balance and peace we are all looking for. If you are connected with yourself then you become peaceful – and when this happens you can bring it out to the world and whatever is meaningful for you. You become a light in the world.
While preparing for an upcoming workshop on Standing Strong: Claim Your Power, I found filed away this quote on change.
“We live in a time of paradox, contradiction, opportunity, and above all, change.
To the fearful, change is threatening because they worry that things may get worse.
To the hopeful, change is encouraging because they feel things may get better.
To those who have confidence in themselves, change is a stimulus because they believe one person can make a difference and influence what goes on around them.”
- Buck Rogers, IBM
Claiming your power is all about confidence. If you hold a healthy sense of self-worth then you have a healthy self-esteem or a high level of self-confidence. How much you value yourself as a person and the way you look at the world and your place in it are influenced by how important you think you are.
Having a healthy self-esteem will reveal to you that you have the competence to cope with the challenges that life throws at you. The more you exhibit this competence the more self-esteem you will create
Next week we will talk about the tools that help build power and confidence.
In last Monday’s Pearl, I discussed the characteristics of endings and the process of feeling and working through our emotions. Below is a list of strategies for both work teams and individuals that will support them through an ending:
Reach out to significant people and/or your team members to communicate your emotions, strategies and plans. This is a good time to form a mastermind group.
Recognize this is a process that everyone goes through and that it’s going to take time to get back to normal
Become aware of your thoughts and concentrate on focusing forward, not backwards and rehashing what has happened. This is different than just letting yourself feel the fear, anger or sadness associated with the change event.
Get involved in your community through a charitable cause. Giving to others is a way to make you feel good.
Acknowledge your past and be grateful for all of it, including the change event that caused the ending. The universe is moving you forward to something bigger and better.
Keep a gratitude journal each day and list the positive things that are happening.
Get a coach so that you can move through what has transpired faster than you could alone.
You can truly make a difference in the lives of 5,000 children just by taking 30 seconds to vote for Sole Hope at this link … Let’s put shoes on these kids! http://www.cultivatewines.com/cause/4856/
Recently I have experienced the major drugstore and grocery chains have asked me to donate to a variety of causes when I check out. Because my belief is that you cannot ever give too much, I am not offended. Fortunately, when my “ego” falls into lack and limitation thinking, my positive thinking kicks in and I donate very willingly. The feeling of inner joy I have afterward is so uplifting.
Today I was in the Walgreens near my home. Again, I was asked to donate and I agreed. After the woman at the register checked me out, she stated, “you have just received a free certificate to use in Walgreens for double the amount of your donation. This was such a clear message and reminder to me that the Laws of the Universe are real. In the last few days, I have donated several times in the same way and nothing happened! Each time I donated, I said to myself, “of course when you give you will get back.” Having no expectation of what I would receive or how, the phrase increased my belief each time I stated it.
By repeating this affirmation, I have truly been able to experience how the universal Law of Cause and Effect works. This has brought me large and small door prizes, upgraded hotel rooms, free airline tickets, increased business and much more.
Many of you know that one of my consistent themes is using positivity in your words and thoughts along with believing them as best you can. It’s never too late! Just be aware that it doesn’t happen immediately, it’s a process that takes time. If you hang in there, you will not be disappointed.
If you are ready to go to the next level of success and have the patience to get there, then call (480) 538-1614 or emailar@arlenerosenberg.com me to support you. Isn’t it time for you to create the dreams and life you truly desire?
THE FIVE STAGES OF ENDINGS IN OUR WORK AND PERSONAL LIVES
In last Monday’s Pearl I suggested that we leave legacies, large or small, every time there is an ending in our lives. What is the meaning of endings you might ask? It means that something that existed in our life no longer exists and is causing us grief. Some of the losses would include: a relationship, job, job transition, vacation, new home or location, effects of injury or illness. How deeply you feel your emotions is typically representative of the importance of the ending. Please don’t underestimate this – every time there is an ending you will go through the stages of grief described below.
The characteristics of an ending and how they affect us:
1. Typically most of us experience Kubler-Ross’ 5 stages of grief during an ending.
Denial: You are in a state of shock, the world becomes meaningless.
Anger: You might ask where God is in all this. As anger arises, be willing to feel it even though it may seem endless. Underneath your anger is great pain.
Bargaining: You become lost in a maze of “What if’s”. These statements reflect a need to blame ourselves and make promises that we will do something different to stop what has happened.
Depression: This stage is where grief and sadness enter our lives at levels we may never have imagined. Again, we must recognize that it is necessary to feel these emotions so we will move through them quicker.
Acceptance: This stage is about accepting the reality that this loss has happened and things will never be the same again. When you move through this phase you will find joy and happiness again.
2. Expect your resistance, slipping back into the different stages during the process is common. This never is a linear experience during major endings.
3. An excellent way to cope with this process is to journal and familiarize yourself with the descriptions above.
Next week we will talk about personal strategies for an ending.
Many of you know that I am a follower of Ernest Holmes, a teacher, lecturer and writer who defined and established the Science of Mind philosophy. In his book, “Basic Ideas of Science of Mind” he explains the nature of the laws of thought in a spiritual universe. What I like about this book is that it gives a simple approach and method for living an abundant life.
Holmes points out that too often we have “negative emotional thinking and reactions which direct our decisions rather than the process of logical thinking.” He also tells us “that when we deeply feel it establishes the pattern for which we will receive.”
In other words, our emotions have a great effect on what we create in our lives. I like to describe it as reaction vs. response. Check out the easy chart under free resources I’ve created, to help you understand this concept on my website.
We all know that we have been given the freedom of choice by the Universe. Man’s actions and thoughts dodetermine his welfare. Understand that what you think and feel are crucial to the outcomes you desire in life. When you take this very seriously and practice responding with positive thinking and belief you will have some miraculous results.
